The Most Functional English Word
Well, it's shit...that's right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional
word in the English language.
You can get shit-faced,
Be shit out of luck,
or have shit for brains.
With a little effort,
you can get your shit together,
Find a place for your shit, Or
be asked to shit or get off the pot.
You can smoke shit,
and tell others to eat shit.
Some people know their shit, while
others can't tell the difference
between Shit and Shinola.
There are lucky shits,
There is bull shit,
horse shit and
You can throw shit,
shoot the shit,
or duck when the shit hits the fan.
You can give a shit or
serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit
or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit,
some days are hotter than shit,
and some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit,
things can look like shit,
and there are times when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit,
not enough shit,
the right shit,
the wrong shit or
a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit,
have a mountain of shit, or find
yourself up shits creek without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you
fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts,
it's the basic building block of the English language.
And remember, once you know your shit,
you don't need to know anything else!
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