An absurdly large handgun or anything else even vaguely phallic
Example: Colt .50 "Grizzly" revolver featuring ~1.5 in long cartridge that almost can't be fired for fear of breaking ones nose.
A $300 Canon™ camera with a variety of speialty lenses so that Unlce Eggbert can catch that action shot of baby Rufus' runny nose at the family reunion softball game.
Guy 1: Hey! Check out this Craftsman jackhammer! You know what this baby can do?
Neighbor: Relieve your insecurity?
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